Alex Gay
Sex and relationship coach for LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent clients
| Hourly rate range | $110 to $200 an hour |
|---|---|
| Focus areas | Couples and marriageLGBTQ datingApproach anxiety and confidenceOnline dating and appsAdults with ADHDAutism and neurodivergenceConfidence and self-esteem |
| Works with | LGBTQ+, Couples and Neurodivergent adults |
| Also coaches | ADHD coach and Life coach |
| Based in | San Diego, California, United States |
| Sessions | Online and in person |
| Credentials | ICF certified coach; Additional training in anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT and ACT |
| Practice | Coach Alex Ray |
Alex Gay is a sex and relationship coach who helps LGBTQIA+ people, neurodivergent people, singles and couples build confidence in dating and intimacy. Alex is ICF certified and has extra training in anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT and ACT. Alex hosts The Queer Confidence Podcast and the Kink Curious Podcast, and also works as an on-set coach. Sessions run online worldwide or in person in San Diego. Alex was formerly known as Coach Ray.
What Alex helps with
Alex works on confidence, communication and intimacy for singles and couples. Topics include kink, gender identity and relationship structure.
- Speaking up for what you want in relationships
- Building confidence for dating
- Sexual anxiety and confidence
- Exploring kink and fantasies
- Ethical non-monogamy
- Gender identity and expression
- Rebuilding trust in a relationship
- Communication between partners
Who Alex works with
Alex works with LGBTQIA+ individuals, neurodivergent people, singles and couples. Past clients include drag queens and porn performers. Singles work on self-awareness, confidence and sexual exploration. Couples focus on communication and mutual satisfaction.
How Alex works
Alex uses guided exercises, conversation and personal feedback in sessions. Optional hands-on work is available, including safe platonic touch. Sessions are skill-building and goal-focused, not therapy. Clients do not need a plan before they start. Alex also runs workshops and speed dating events, and offers an Intimacy Type quiz.
Background and qualifications
Alex is certified through the International Coaching Federation. Alex has added training on anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT and ACT. Alex is also a trained medium and tarot reader, a porn writer and an on-set coach. Before coaching, Alex worked a salaried tech job and ran a business. Alex hosts two podcasts, The Queer Confidence Podcast and the Kink Curious Podcast.
Alex Gay pricing
Programs and services
- One-on-one coaching
- Couples coaching
- Workshops
- Speed dating events
- Cuddle sessions
- Intimacy Type quiz
Alex Gay reviews
The CoachVouch take
Alex combines ICF certified coaching with work as an on-set coach for performers and hosts two podcasts on queer confidence and kink.
Best for LGBTQIA+ or neurodivergent singles and couples who want to speak up about their desires and feel more confident in dating and sex.
Common questions
How much does Alex Gay charge?
Coaching with Alex runs $110 to $200 an hour. Message Alex from this page for an exact quote.
What does Alex Gay help with?
Alex Gay helps with speaking up for what you want in relationships, building confidence for dating, sexual anxiety and confidence and exploring kink and fantasies.
Does Alex Gay coach online?
Alex is based in San Diego, California, United States. Sessions are online and in person.
Is Alex Gay certified?
Alex Gay lists: ICF certified coach; Additional training in anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT and ACT.
Does Alex Gay coach online or in person?
Both. In-person sessions are in San Diego, and Alex can travel to a client by agreement. Video sessions are open to people anywhere in the world.
Is coaching with Alex the same as therapy?
No. Coaching with Alex focuses on skills and moving forward. Alex can refer clients to affirming therapists for deeper work on the past.
How do I contact Alex Gay?
Send Alex a message from this page. It's free and takes a minute.
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Last updated September 2026. Request a correction.