Victoria Onken
Relationship coach for ethical non-monogamy, based in Amsterdam
| Hourly rate range | $70 to $125 an hour |
|---|---|
| Focus areas | |
| Works with | Couples |
| Based in | Amsterdam, Netherlands |
| Sessions | Online |
| Languages | English and Russian |
Victoria Onken is a relationship coach in Amsterdam who helps individuals and couples exploring ethical non-monogamy and open relationships. She works online with clients across the US, UK and Europe. She focuses on jealousy, desire asymmetry and agreements that no longer fit. Before coaching, she worked in art direction. She also writes, speaks in public and teaches a course that helps therapists become competent in ethical non-monogamy.
What Victoria helps with
Victoria works with people at a moment when their relationship feels unsettled. Many are deciding whether to open a relationship or whether their current structure still fits.
- Deciding whether ethical non-monogamy is right for you
- Opening a relationship
- Working through jealousy
- Renegotiating agreements that no longer fit
- Desire asymmetry between partners
- Having difficult conversations without damaging trust
- Repetitive conflict in a relationship
Who Victoria works with
Victoria works with individuals and couples, both those in ethical non-monogamy and those who are monogamous and considering it. She specializes in cross-cultural couples, immigrants, and people whose family of origin does not share their current life. Many of her clients come from conservative backgrounds. Some come alone to think before talking with a partner.
How Victoria works
Victoria offers private coaching, small-group sessions on jealousy, communication and agreements that need re-opening, and longer session packages. Longer packages include WhatsApp access. Clients receive detailed coaching notes after sessions. She does not prescribe how a relationship should look. Her work helps clients hear themselves and decide what they want. A discovery call comes first to see if coaching fits.
Background and qualifications
Victoria began her career in art direction, where she learned to notice what stays hidden beneath the surface. She brings her own experience in non-monogamy to her coaching. She came to this work from a conservative background, which is why many of her clients share it. She is based in Amsterdam and coaches online in English and Russian. Alongside coaching, she writes, speaks in public and runs a course for therapists.
Victoria Onken pricing
Programs and services
- Individual coaching sessions online
- 4-session package
- 12-session quarterly package
- Small-group sessions on jealousy and communication
- Discovery call
- Course for therapists on ethical non-monogamy
Victoria Onken reviews
The CoachVouch take
She is a relationship coach who came from art direction and also teaches a course that helps therapists become competent in ethical non-monogamy.
Best for couples and individuals from conservative backgrounds who are considering or living ethical non-monogamy.
Common questions
How much does Victoria Onken charge?
Coaching with Victoria runs $70 to $125 an hour. Message Victoria from this page for an exact quote.
What does Victoria Onken help with?
Victoria Onken helps with deciding whether ethical non-monogamy is right for you, opening a relationship, working through jealousy and renegotiating agreements that no longer fit.
Does Victoria Onken coach online?
Victoria is based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Sessions are online.
Does Victoria work with people who are not sure about ethical non-monogamy?
Yes. Many clients come while still figuring it out. Coaching helps them slow down and decide if it is something they want.
Does Victoria work with individuals or couples?
Both. Some clients come alone to think before talking with a partner. Others come as a couple to work on jealousy and agreements.
How do I contact Victoria Onken?
Send Victoria a message from this page. It's free and takes a minute.
Similar coaches to compare
Tick "Compare" to message several coaches at once.
Abbey Roe
Abbey Roe is a confidence and intimacy coach who works with individuals and couples. Abbey coaches on self-discovery, desire and authentic self-expression, and takes a kink-affirming, trauma-aware approach. Abbey is also a producer and creator who runs a development and production company. Clients include singles, couples, and people in ethical non-monogamy, polyamory or other alternative relationship structures. No prior kink experience is needed.
Abe Santiago
Abe Santiago is a certified life coach in Phoenix who helps couples heal their marriages. He worked in ministry for 25 years, helping people resolve relationship issues at all levels. He saw how broken marriages hurt children, parents, extended family and friends. That led him to narrow his focus to marriage alone. He offers a discovery conversation so couples can decide if working together fits.
Adrienne Everheart
Adrienne Everheart is a dating and relationship coach who helps women build lasting love. He teaches a method he created called the Feminine Energy Mindset Method, or FEMM. His work covers dating again, breakups, separation, pending divorce and winning back a partner. He sells scripts, courses and a card deck, and he offers private coaching. He also runs an AI tool called Adrienne-ish that answers questions using his own course material.
Alan Cox
Alan Cox is a life coach and CBT practitioner who helps gay men move from casual dating to a committed, monogamous relationship. He also facilitates workshops and is an author. He hosts The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast, which has 140 episodes since 2024. Episodes cover attachment styles, the cost of dating apps, and how to build a life that fits a lasting relationship. His work centers on clarity, confidence, and clear relationship goals.
Browse related
Last updated September 2026. Request a correction.